The ties that bind
Photo: Eusepia Lehe
I often think about the way the COVID-19 pandemic has changed us as individuals and how this change has already shaped the world around us and will continue to do so in the next decade. Have we become more introverted as a result of social isolation? What does that mean for our creative endeavors and for entrepreneurship?
For some of us the answer is clear; the pandemic is a time for (socially distanced, COVID-regulations approved) connection, not disconnection - and now is as good of a time as any to start a business. My friend Sasha has done just that, starting not one but two businesses in the height of the pandemic lockdown, both focused on bringing people together for in-person connection. I sat down with him (virtually) to ask about his motivations and challenges.
Sascha Achner
Founder & Consultant, Halle an der Saale
Photo: Muse & Mirror
Sascha, it’s really exciting that you’ve started your new business and grown a mustache since we last spoke. Pre-pandemic, we talked about your work in the public sector and it seemed like you were very ambitious and entrepreneurial as far as process is concerned. Sounds like it was a long time coming.
I agree with that. Before the pandemic, I had situations in which I woke up in the morning and it was hard to get motivated. The work I was doing was fulfilling and important - helping refugees arrive and settle in Germany - but that was only 10% of my work. The rest was meetings and accounting. I had been thinking about starting a systemic coaching and kink education business for a while, but living in a small city and having two children, I think I was afraid of change and the risk that comes with it.
Before the pandemic, I was in Thailand with friends and shattered my heel in a bad accident. After returning to Germany to recover, I was away from work for several months, which gave me time to think. When I was finally able to return to my “old life” I realized there was no sense in trying to rebuild a life I did not want. There was nothing holding me back from going ahead with creating something new from my own experience and interests. That’s when I started VÆGABØUND.
How did the idea of starting a business that combines kink education, shibari and systemic coaching come about?
I’ve always been interested in kink and shibari, but never felt like part of the traditional subculture. I am not interested in dungeons, the aesthetic of dark rooms or leather, and I think that with books like Fifty Shades of Grey, the topic has received more public attention - opening the door to others who now feel more comfortable saying “yes, I want to experience these things” but also feel put off by the traditional dark aesthetic. I wanted to create a space for people new to kink to explore it as a place of longing, in a warm, open and supportive environment. In the past I’ve heard many stories - especially from women - that they felt uninformed during their first experiences with kink, especially as it relates to consent. As an educator and systemic coach, I can create a safe space where people can both experience kink and learn more about themselves while exploring their boundaries.
While in Thailand, I discussed this idea with two friends, both psychologists, who offered perspectives from different angles. They’re interested in both personal development and tantric movement, and suggested parallels between kink, shibari and tantra - especially the role-playing aspect. This opened my eyes to the link to personal development. There are of course other people out there who give workshops on kink and shibari, but I feel they focus more on technique and not the holistic aspect of the experience itself as a means to self-exploration and growth. I feel there is a movement of kink educators who want to professionalize the industry and move it out of the realm of informal hearsay and out into the open.
Photo: Eusepia Lehe
I’m listening to you talk about these parallels with other fields and I see these too - such as psychology and behavioral therapy. We work in different fields but I also see a parallel to the effect my work in design, especially qualitative research, has had on my personal life as I put myself in the shoes of others and learn to apply empathy.
Yes. Especially the aspect of role-playing as part of education is something I’ve used often in my work as a coach. I draw from these experiences a lot when working with couples, and also put myself in their shoes by referring back to periods in which I felt embarrassed to try kink myself. People feel like they’re at fault for having these types of fantasies and try to hide this aspect of themselves.
For me, the burning question is about starting a business, which is very much reliant on in-person connections, during the pandemic - and especially during quarantine. How did you navigate this?
Coaching is something I find extremely fulfilling and there was no question for me that working with people would a big part of any new business I started. I didn’t account for the pandemic when the concrete idea for the business came up so when COVID hit I looked for ways to realize my vision. To tell the truth, online kink education workshops ended up being perfectly suited for quarantine - people had already watched all the movies on their list, explored every hobby, they sat with their partner and asked “well, what can we explore now?”. Not being able to go outside in order to fulfill the need for human connection and development, I think some people looked at kink and said “this looks interesting”.
I was initially skeptical about the efficacy of remote workshops, especially when it comes to the technical aspects like tying shibari ropes. I quickly realized that they worked really well, making the workshops accessible to all types of people regardless of location. Having a remote workshop also offered a sense of community for small groups. People were very open to the idea. At one point we had 6000 watching one of our educational live streams!
It’s actually when COVID restrictions were lifted in some parts of Germany that I saw a dip in bookings. In my region we were still under lockdown so I was unable to travel and host the workshops in-person elsewhere.
When I first heard that you’d started your business during the pandemic I thought it sounded risky but it sounds like you’re actually solving human problems on multiple levels. You’re working in groups, creating community and shortening distances between people. You’re also planning an in-person retreat in the US?
Yes! I had a client who found the experience of kink education so transformative that they felt inspired to bring it back home to the US in some capacity. They felt there was a lack of education on the topic in the US, so we’re planning a weeklong retreat in Colorado, in April of this year, where people can join, discover themselves, explore the archetypes they might have and learn about shibari, consent and communication. We will have multiple facilitators from different backgrounds. We would love to set up these retreats in other places as well.
Can you tell me a bit about KIKØBI, your lifestyle brand?
My partner and I started KIKØBI as a rope brand, for use in shibari. In the context of my work on VÆGABØUND I noticed that the ropes people were using were often, of low quality, even containing health-threatening chemicals, and there was little variety in the market. I initially reached out to shibari rope manufacturers here in Germany and asked to feature their work in our shop, but they wanted to keep their products exclusive to the local kink scene. I also realized that when you shop for shibari ropes online, you typically get brown ropes in a brown box - I think there’s space for a more luxurious customer experience which is closer to the aesthetic that I’ve worked to establish at VÆGABØUND.
I started refining and dying my own ropes from hemp and jute. Today we have the largest natural fiber shibari rope selection in Germany - they sell really well - ruby red is our most popular color.
With COVID restrictions being slowly lifted, what’s next for VÆGABØUND?
I am looking forward to offering more in-person coaching sessions and live workshops all over Germany - and to work more internationally by expanding this part of my business to other countries, too. I would like to create exclusive events which combine kink, performance art, music and storytelling.
At the moment I’m working on opening my own studio. Being able to offer people a space for learning, art and exploration - that’s always been a big part of my vision. Opening a studio has been a dream since starting the business and, following several delays due to COVID, I’m looking forward to finally making this dream a reality.